Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
