You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
