4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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