We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
