God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
