literally had 100 drinks last night.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
