fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
