Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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