My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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