they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Operation Purity has been aborted
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
My Sexting was not on an AP level
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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