i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Pants are for mortals
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
