Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
