Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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