More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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