I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
