you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
