I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
