fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
