I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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