It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
