my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
