hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
home. puking in laundry basket.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
