It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
