Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
