After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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