SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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