Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
