Me too!
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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