What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
