My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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