If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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