I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Randomize
