And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
