guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
