Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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