Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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