What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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