my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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