I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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