so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
