i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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