My room smells like vodka and shame
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
ok first of all what the fuck
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
