I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
