I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so let's talk penis.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
