Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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