I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
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