I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
