we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
