So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
