Nicole vs. Life
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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